Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARXWhy don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX