I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARXWhy don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX