Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARXIf you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX