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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.

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Deviation Dirty Honor Liar Thief Writing Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX

Poverty State Work
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Age Birthday Interesting Subject
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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Art Humour Water
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Funny Love Man Myself
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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Dreamss Hairs Nurse Red Romance
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX

Born Democracy People Republic
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Hear Memories Past Stop Story
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Arrow Banana Fly Fruit Time
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX

Choose Happiness Misery Money
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Fetch Funny Understand
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Deep Failure One Liner Unhappy
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX

Army Justice Military Music One Liner
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX

Applesauce Cranberry Taste
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Humour Laughter Moments Read

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