Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARXIf you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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All geniuses die young.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX






