If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARXWe’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX