Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARXHere’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARXRoom service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARXWell, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARXFrom the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARXI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARXTime flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARXShe’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARXPaying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARXYesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARXSomebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARXAnyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARXSome people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARXLove flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARXNext time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARXI’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARXOnly one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX