When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARXWhen you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARXAll geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARXI’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARXHollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARXI must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARXWho says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARXWe left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARXWhatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARXGo, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARXA man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARXMost young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARXHumour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARXIn studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX