Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARXA very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX






