Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARXOutside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX