A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARXOutside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX