If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARXOutside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX