Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARXOutside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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All geniuses die young.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX