Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLINNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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Meow means woof in cat.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN