Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
More George Carlin Quotes
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLIN