Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLINMost people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLINI think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLINOne tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLINAge is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLINHave you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLINPeople who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLINI’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLINIf you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
GEORGE CARLINI put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLINMen are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLINThe wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLINIf you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLINThe IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLINThe safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLINInstead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN