Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLINNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
More George Carlin Quotes
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN







