Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINInside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINPeople love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLINScratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINThere’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLINIf you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLINIsn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLINRegarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLINPardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLINAlthough the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLINIf all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLINIf your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLINIf a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLINMost people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLINAtheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLINMeow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLINWeather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN