The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLINPeople who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
More George Carlin Quotes
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Always do whatever’s next.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN