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George Carlin Quote - I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

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Funny Humour Life Money

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLIN

Committment Friendship Maintain Murder People Reason Victim
The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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Argument Excuse God Man Refuge
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Fuck People Planet
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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Religion Shoes Wear
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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Funny Humour Life Money
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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Electricity Light One Liner Organise
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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Earthquake Humour Place Shop Stationary
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Bomb Inspirational Life Name Risk Scratch
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Crappy Day Funny Human Nature Humour People
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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Ideas Suck Trouble
I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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Humour Owned Science Telescope
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Deal Earth Men One Liner Women
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Bad Christmas Girl Jolly Live Reason Santa Sex
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Grass Humanity Nation One Liner Sheep
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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Funny Homeless Humour Naked Shell
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
GEORGE CARLIN

Elimination Honesty Policy Rejection Remember

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