One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLINI put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
GEORGE CARLIN