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George Carlin Quote - The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

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Average Direction Each Other Expectation Life Opposite

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN

One Liner Petty Sweat
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Acceptance Handwriting Love Maths People
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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Failure Humour Hustle Inspirational Success Try
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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Alcohol Floor Funny One Liner Tequilla
Life is tough, then you die.
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Die Life One Liner Reality Tough
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Deal Earth Men One Liner Women
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bomb Inspirational Life Name Risk Scratch
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Challenge Hard Time Humour Inspirational Situation
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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Funny Humour Life Money
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Howl Moon Night Silence Wolf
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Snoking Swimming
Meow means woof in cat.
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Animal Cat Humour One Liner Woof
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN

Disappointment Ideal One Liner Person
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Fly Walk
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN

Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN

Comedy Humour Liberty Thinking

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