Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLINInside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Meow means woof in cat.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLIN -
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN







