People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLIN