If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLINMeow means woof in cat.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN