Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLINLife is tough, then you die.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN