I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLINA cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN