The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLINIf you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Religion is just mind control.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLIN