Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLINIf you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN -
The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Religion is just mind control.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN