I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLINLife is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
More George Carlin Quotes
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN