Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLINWe are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
More George Carlin Quotes
-
-
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN -
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Meow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN -
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN