Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLINWe are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLIN