I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLINWe are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
More George Carlin Quotes
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLIN