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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

Bob Hope

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE

Country Kissing Lazy Love People
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE

Country Fog Funny Remove
I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPE

Anymore Country Funny Soon Space
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Division Fame Golf
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPE

Belief Comedian Funny Humorous
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE

Jesus News Pissed
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Golf Member Successful
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE

Day Mean Motherhood Mothers
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Running
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation

If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

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Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes