I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPEIf he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
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Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
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It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
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I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
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Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.
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It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
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Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
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Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE