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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.

Bob Hope

The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
BOB HOPE

Before Draw Engage Money Only Trouble
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE

Acting Awards Hollywood Press Thinking
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
BOB HOPE

America Funny Humorous
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE

Balls Go Golf Yards
It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Wounded
I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE

Friend Funny Hate Inspiration
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE

Country Littles People Promise Way
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE

Singing Sweet Trying
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up

I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.

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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.

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