I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPEThere are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
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My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
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The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE -
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE -
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
BOB HOPE -
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE -
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
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I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPE -
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
BOB HOPE -
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE -
Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE