I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPEThere are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
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Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
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I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
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For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
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I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
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There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE