Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPEPebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
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That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE -
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE -
If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE