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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

Bob Hope

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Japan
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPE

Belief Comedian Funny Humorous
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight
Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
BOB HOPE

Congratulations Dark House
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
BOB HOPE

Anyone Bad Beautiful Golf Shot Silly
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea
If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Nation Slice Worry
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Personality Talented
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation

Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

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