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US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!

Bob Hope

The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE

Aspirin Firm Print Times
Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPE

Appreciate Want War Winding
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE

Country Humorous People Soup
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE

Book Funny Reading
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Love
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE

Funny Golf Same Time Together
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
BOB HOPE

Brother Country Day Die Husband Veterans
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Running
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE

Golf Paramedic Play Trying
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
BOB HOPE

Country Good Line Look One
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE

Button Country Funny Hotel Humorous Maid Press Room Service
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE

Day Mean Motherhood Mothers
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPE

Anymore Country Funny Soon Space
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE

Fields Flatterers Golf Shooting
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE

Anything Resist Temptation
She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE

Braves Family Kid Players
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE

May Watches World

US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!

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US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!

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Popular Authors

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