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You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.

Bob Hope

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Division Fame Golf
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
BOB HOPE

Adversity Better Lucky Now Pugs
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE

Age Country Middle People Weightlifting
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Invested Sweater
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE

Friend Funny Hate Inspiration
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Wounded
I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
BOB HOPE

Country Courage Devotion Discomfort Face Good Hate Humor More
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
BOB HOPE

Country Good Line Look One
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
BOB HOPE

Food Funny Humorous

You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.

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You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.

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Popular Authors

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