We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
ALAN KINGI won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
More Alan King Quotes
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING






