I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARXGo, and never darken my towels again.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX