Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLINPardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
More George Carlin Quotes
-
-
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN -
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN