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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

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Enough Learning Mistake Yourself

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Any place I hang my head is home.
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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