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Mark Twain Quote - Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

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Argument Difference Excuse Fools

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
MARK TWAIN

Funny Humour Inspirational Tomorrow
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
MARK TWAIN

Humour Man Savage World
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN

Dog Favor Heaven Merit Stay
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
MARK TWAIN

Honesty Lying One Liner Remember Truth
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
MARK TWAIN

Animal Dog Fellow Grace Speak
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
MARK TWAIN

FAction Healing Humour Treat
When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
MARK TWAIN

Advice Angry One Liner Patience Swear
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
MARK TWAIN

Brace Character Courage Curious Moral Physical World
Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
MARK TWAIN

Book Desire Imagination People Read
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
MARK TWAIN

Disappear Explanation Humour Life Mad Mystery Remember Stand
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.
MARK TWAIN

Enemy Friendship Heart Togetherness Work
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN

Effective Happiness Human Laughter Race Reality Weapon
All right, then, I’ll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN

Break Up Hell Leaving Resignation
A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.
MARK TWAIN

Book Humour Success Writing
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
MARK TWAIN

Eat Fight Food Life Secret Success
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
MARK TWAIN

Acknowledgement Authority Commit Fault Guard Opportunity Throw

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