I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARXShe got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX