I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARXI never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX






