“It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.”

You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.

When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.

It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.

There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.

An awful lot has been written about my temper.

His laugh sounds an awful lot like my happiness.

The awful thing is that beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and the devil are fighting there and the battlefield is the heart of man.

Death, therefore, the most awful of evils, is nothing to us, seeing that, when we are, death is not come, and, when death is come, we are not.

It is easy to love people when they smell good, but sometimes they slip into the manure of life and smell awful. You must love them just as much when they smell foul.

I’m going to be an awful driver.

The universe is a pretty big place. If it’s just us, seems like an awful waste of space.

This wine is awful. Get me another glass.