Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLINWhat do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
More George Carlin Quotes
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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Religion is just mind control.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLIN