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George Carlin Quote - Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

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Funny Humour Idiot Maniac

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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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Butterfly Caterpillar Humour People Public Work
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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Concerntration Crack Flower Fuck Grass Hero
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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Friendship Humour Photographer Photography Picture Thief
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Bad Christmas Girl Jolly Live Reason Santa Sex
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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