He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARXMost young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX