“A man is only as old as the woman he feels.”

Go, and never darken my towels again.

When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.

She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.

Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.

All geniuses die young.

A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.

If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.

You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.

A great photograph is one that fully expresses what one feels, in the deepest sense, about what is being photographed.

What causes us to think of prayer as the last option rather than the first? I can think of two reasons: feelings of independence and feelings of insignificance.

I felt like there were so many talented people who should be getting what I have.

Just the fact that a thousand people in front of me were ready to hear me sing was one of the best feelings I can think of.

It is impossible for African-Americans not to feel like their government is particularly targeting them.

A man’s admiration of absolute government is proportionate to the contempt he feels for those around him.

I want to feel at home in my own heart.

Sometimes I don’t know what takes me over during a game. Sometimes I just feel I have moved to a different place and I can make the pass, score the goal or go past my marker at will.