While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARXThe only real laughter comes from despair.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX






