Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARXThe only real laughter comes from despair.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX