I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARXThe only real laughter comes from despair.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX