Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARXPaying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX