I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARXLove flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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All geniuses die young.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX