Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARXIf a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX