If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARXIf a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX