A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARXA year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARXTime wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARXI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARXDo you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARXThe secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARXI intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARXEither this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARXWhy don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARXYesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARXOutside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARXI’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARXLearn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARXI’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARXWell, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX