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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

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Humour Judge Jury Marriage One Liner

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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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Admit Age Born Early Life
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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All geniuses die young.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Book Humour Laughter Moments Read
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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