Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPEI tell jokes to pay my green fees.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE -
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE -
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE -
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE -
If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE -
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE -
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE -
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
BOB HOPE -
I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
BOB HOPE -
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE -
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE -
US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE -
I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
BOB HOPE -
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE -
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE -
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
BOB HOPE -
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE -
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE -
I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
BOB HOPE -
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE -
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE -
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE -
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE -
I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
BOB HOPE -
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE -
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE