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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

Bob Hope

It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE

Average Funny Humorous
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
BOB HOPE

Anyone Bad Beautiful Golf Shot Silly
I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
BOB HOPE

Blow Home Hurricane Tornadoes Typhoon Worry
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE

Apart Dog Miles Pet Tree
The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
BOB HOPE

Bombers Bombs Hell
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE

Fans Letters Raspberries
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
BOB HOPE

Country Good Line Look One
I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE

Days Line One These Watches
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE

Best Friend Talking Tire

I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

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