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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.

Bob Hope

If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
BOB HOPE

Country Kind Line Money One People
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE

Day Mean Motherhood Mothers
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE

Alligators Bags Golf
I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
BOB HOPE

Country Courage Devotion Discomfort Face Good Hate Humor More
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE

Golf Paramedic Play Trying
Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
BOB HOPE

Acting Funny President
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
BOB HOPE

Christmas Holiday Old Fashioned Xmas
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
BOB HOPE

America Funny Humorous
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
BOB HOPE

Food Funny Humorous
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE

Funny Item People Telling Years
US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE

Ford Gerald Golf President
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Numeral Roman
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE

Fans Letters Raspberries

It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.

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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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