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Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

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Age Glove Love Old Sport Through

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

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I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.
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My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life.
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I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
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I’ve tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t’ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.
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Aim Fool High Off Shoot
To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won’t have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.
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Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, ‘Who could have done this? We have no enemies!’
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The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.
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I don’t know how you feel about old age… but in my case I didn’t even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.
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You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
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