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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

Rodney Dangerfield

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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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Cat Cover Kept Me Play Sandbox Up
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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Cheat Good Goodness Kid Look Me Wife
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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Cigarette General Met Offer Surgeon
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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Family Found Look Nap Tree Was
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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Frink Last Much Olive Sample Time Too
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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Arm Bone Dog Favorite My
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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Ben Big Clock Country Cousin Find Gay
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
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Being Do Draw Men Most Thing Told Wage
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Broke Game Hockey Night Other Out Went
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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Always Found Kid Move Parent
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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Come Door Life Met Negligee Night Other Sexy Unfortunately
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Already Always Eye Garbage Keep Me Rid She Told Try Wife
I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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Come Drink Go Juice Prune Take Viagra
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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Dog Family Found Look Three Tree
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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Born I Morning Mother Sickness
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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Afraid Dark Light Me Naked Saw Wife

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