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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.

Alan King

Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KING

Humor Jew Joke Objectivity Only Refer Speak Stage Unfunny
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING

Country Cutter Dreamer Father Handbag Hero Smart Tough
We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
ALAN KING

Ability Behave Fun Make Society Watch
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING

Comedy Create Nothing Reflection
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KING

Bank Banker Chain Come Down Friend Image New Pen
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
ALAN KING

Ball Everything Matzoh Mother Sank
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
ALAN KING

Funny Holocaust Joke Make Occur People Way
Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
ALAN KING

Better Salami Sex Slice Thickly
Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KING

Business Course Have Hook Learn Survive
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
ALAN KING

Day Decide Dinner Go Morning Through
As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING

Better Father Parent
I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
ALAN KING

Being Bird Come Early Gonna Mind Sixty-five Special Tell
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING

Great New Older Thing Year
My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KING

Coverage Fire Frown Kind Lawyer Problem Theft
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
ALAN KING

Amazing Away Call Comedy Get Hard Laugh Once Turn
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KING

Brother College Cut Him Member Nail Physician Surgeon Youngest

My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.

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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.

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Popular Authors

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