My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING
I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
More Alan King Quotes
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING -
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
ALAN KING -
Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
ALAN KING -
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING -
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING -
We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING -
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KING -
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
ALAN KING -
It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
ALAN KING -
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING -
I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING -
Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
ALAN KING -
But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
ALAN KING -
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KING -
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING