We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
ALAN KINGI don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
More Alan King Quotes
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING