How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLINSome people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Always do whatever’s next.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN