I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
ADAM CAROLLAAll TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
ADAM CAROLLA