Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARXWhy, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX